I’m Only Worried About the Hairballs

Pointless Poems Add comments
May 042010

My pet tiger

Is going to love me

I’ll keep it on my roof

And let it eat what it can find

Neigbours and dogs and garbage men

There is a large amount of food in the area

And for those who will say this isn’t right

That tigers don’t belong in the city

I will say to them

“Do people belong in Tiger country?”

And they will look at me and say

“You’re crazy”

And then my tiger will eat them

Or maybe eat me

We’re all just meat to a tiger

Posted by trevorstrong at 3:21 pm

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Lani

This Week's Poem

  • I’m a Big Fan

    21 Aug 2010

    I am happy for all those who do well
    I am not a petty man
    I am not one who sees others have success
    And belittles it
    Even though it is undeserved
    Even though they are self-centered, love-sponges soaking up their own fluids until they burst
    Even though their achievements are shallow and will not stand the test of time
    Like mine will
    When I finally have them
    No!
    No!
    No!
    I respect these hypocrites
    These two-faced jackals who suck at the teat of enterprise
    And use decent folk
    Like myself
    As rungs in their ladder of ambition and derisiveness
    Good on you!
    All the best to you sneering, superior, privilege-flatulating pomposities
    And now
    That I have reached a certain point in my life
    I have just one question to ask
    Could you give me a job?